Blog Title: In Dayton We Trust

Committed to turning around the Kansas City Royals one step at a time.

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Batting Stance Guy's take on the Royals

Big hat tip to Baldwin S., who emailed me to say Batting Stance Guy has posted a Royals version of what he does best. BSG, as you may have read in a Bill Simmons article, impersonates batting stances of various well known (and lesser known) Major League Baseball players, and it's, to say the least, amazing.

If you want to know what Frank White, Willie Wilson, Amos Otis, two McCrays, Steve Balboni, et al. (the list goes on for a long time) looked like at the plate, check out the video. I think the guy's got Ken Harvey's strikeout swing down pat. And as Baldwin pointed out, Bo Jackson and George Brett, at the end, are hilarious.

What it sounded like inside Capital Gymnasium, and other sounds

A backdated post on what a walk-off grand slam from Yankee Stadium sounds like here (second in the Podomatic queue).

Capital Gymnasium, by the way, is the venue in Beijing where the Chinese women's volleyball team lost to Brazil in the semifinals Thursday night.

From the other side of the world, a shocking upset

This may not mean much to those Stateside, but trust me when we say it's worth sharing:

Team	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11	12	R	H	E	LOB
Chinese Taipei	0	0	0	0	1	1	0	0	1	0	0	4	7	11	1	15
China	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	3	0	0	0	5	8	11	3	13

Nine runs were scored in the 12th inning of yesterday's Olympic baseball game between China and Chinese Taipei, with China winning in dramatic -- and we do mean dramatic -- fashion.

With one out and the bases loaded, China drew a walk to make it 7-5 as the Taiwanese coach, Hung Yi-chung, rested his head on the dugout railing in disbelief. The next batter, Hou Fenglian, went down 0-2 before slapping a single past the first baseman. As the tying run rounded third, the unthinkable happened: Taipei's second baseman mishandled the relay throw, first trying catch it in front of his body, then for some reason moving his glove to his backside as if trying to snag a screwball. The ball bounced away -- even watching multiple replays, we're not sure what happened -- and the runner on first raced around to score without a throw. While China had three errors on the day, this was Taipei's first -- and it cost them the game.

Hou threw his arms up and rushed to join a mob of Chinese players dancing at the plate. No one could quite believe it. The crowd, as you can expect, went wild -- they didn't know what happened either, but the scoreboard showed 8-7 and the home team was jumping up and down on the field. It was time to celebrate.

This story has gotten little to no play here in Beijing, where the mainlanders truly don't care about baseball. In Taiwan, on the other hand, emotions went from unfettered joy to unspeakable disappointment in a matter of minutes as people on the streets watched their team choke away a four-run lead in the bottom of the 12th against Olympic newcomers. Check out these two AP photos, taken from Taiwan before and after:

China hasn't been playing baseball for very long, and it doesn't look like it'll be playing much longer once these Games are over, since the sport is getting removed from the Olympic program. This victory -- the first for the China Olympic baseball team -- is just a footnote in the country's quest to overtake the U.S. in the total gold medal count. For the Taiwanese, on the other hand...

The game was so important that Taiwan's baseball chief had offered to resign if his team, officially named "Chinese Taipei" because of political sensitivities with China, lost. Other heads could roll as well, he said ahead of the Olympics.
"It's going to be a big shock, because never in history has Taiwan's team lost to mainland China in international play," said Chao Chien-min, a political science professor at National Chengchi University.
"China doesn't like baseball," Chao said. "For a long time we thought we had an advantage."

That was from a Reuters story. No word on whether the baseball chief resigned, but this loss has completely shaken the island. This is a place that literally shuts down when Chien-Ming Wang pitches, and here they are, losing to their archnemesis.

Very few news articles mentions what actually happened in the game -- not surprising since they probably weren't there, not Reuters (above) and not the Chicago Tribune (actually, they probably were, but still no game details) -- and that's really too bad. You can talk the political ramifications of a China vs. Chinese Taipei matchup all you want, but what it comes down to is this: two teams played a hell of a baseball game, and those who saw it can consider themselves lucky.

A longer video below. In the postgame analysis, one of the studio guys says, "I think in today's game, at the most crucial moment, Chinese Taipei... perhaps the turn of events really rattled them mentally, and that took them from heaven to earth, and they didn't know what to do."

Sound familiar?

ESPN's Jerry Crasnick did a story on Pirates GM Neal Huntington, who this blog -- among others, including Baseball Prospectus -- seems particularly fond of. The reason is obvious: there are noticeable similarities between Huntington and this blog's namesake, particularly in the situations they inherited: proud, downcast franchises reeling from years of incompetence and bad luck.

Here's an excerpt from Crasnick:

While most mainstream media outlets categorized Pittsburgh as a deadline loser, some bloggers rode to Huntington's defense. The blog "Where have you gone, Andy Van Slyke?'' polled its readers, and 76 percent of the 540 respondents gave Huntington a grade of "A'' or "B'' on his trades.

Pirates diehards who've seen the team drift aimlessly from one half-baked plan to another can at least appreciate the new regime's devotion to a long-term goal. Huntington and club president Frank Coonelly tirelessly preach the gospel of scouting, player development and an increased presence in Latin America, and they're not going to slap on Band-Aids for a day or two of good publicity.

And does this sound familiar? Just substitute "Moss" and "LaRoche" with any number of Dayton Moore's acquisitions...

That's not going to happen, of course. But if Moss turns into a reliable corner outfielder, LaRoche becomes an average third baseman and one of Pittsburgh's new pitchers sticks with the big club, the Pirates will be content with their haul.

The folks over at Bucs Dugout seem pleased, saying the article "accurately describes fan attitudes in Pittsburgh." We're well acquainted with those attitudes over here.

Keep up the good work, Neal. We'll have our eyes on you, and not just to measure our progress by.

POSTSCRIPT: Opening Ceremonies on a scale of 1 to 10... go! Personally, with all the expectations -- and the fact that I watched it in a public setting surrounded by thousands, fighting off mosquitoes and trying to survive the heat -- I'd have to give it a 9. Not perfect, but still... not too shabby. Not at all.

"I should have caught it"

True story: if you type something like "Royals Red Sox Maier Gload" into YouTube and click on the video titled, "Jason Bay's Bizarre RBI Double 8/5/08 - Wall Ball," the "related videos" panel will be all Red Sox, most of them with the word "championship" in the title.

Said Maier afterwards: "I should have caught it."

And Josh Beckett, nearly a year later, scares us as before. He's now 3-0 with a 2.41 ERA in five starts against the Royals.

A punch for bears everywhere

Miguel Olivo bringing down the hammer on A.J. Pierzynski, bear hunter.

About the bears: no, seriously:

Buehrle, [Jim] Thome, Jermaine Dye and A.J. Pierzynski took a bear-hunting trip following Saturday's victory, an excursion set up by Twins broadcaster Dan Gladden on the property of a friend. Buehrle made the only kill of the day, using a bow, but it turned into a memorable moment with Thome right beside him.

Not that we have anything against the red-blooded sport of big game hunting, but... whatever did bears do to you, A.J.?

Have we mentioned how much we dislike the White Sox?

Dayton Moore after the trade deadline

PRELUDE: God I'm late with this, I know... but sometimes I feel like I'm in another world out here in China. There's something called an "Olympics" coming up. Interesting concept. Apparently countries from around the world send "delegations" to a predetermined location every four years or so and compete in all sorts of wacky and fun events. Like, there's one called "pole vault" where people charge with these massive 10-foot poles and then catapult themselves over bars. It reminds me a little of... well, it reminds me of nothing. There is no comparison. Pole vaulting is the pinnacle of human innovation.

The Man speaks in this Dick Kaegel of MLB.com:

"The last four or five days, obviously, we've been in a lot of discussions and a lot of meetings and talked over a lot of different scenarios, but we were never real close to what I would call making a deal."

Fair enough. The Royals, as RR tells us, have played 31-26 baseball since the morning of May 31, so they don't need to break up this team. Oh, what's that, they just beat the Red Sox? 32-26.

"Sure, there was interest in Ron Mahay, as there was interest in all our relief pitchers -- every single one of them. But we just weren't motivated to move them -- unless somebody comes and knocks your socks off with a deal that you can't afford not to do."

Other than the blockbusters, there really weren't that many trades this deadline. Teams are holding onto their youngsters.

About Mark Grudzielanek drawing interest from the Dodgers:

"No, it's an absolute lie. I'm not going to call them rumors anymore. I'm just going to call them lies. There's so much stuff that's just laughable.

Assertive.

About Zack Greinke, Brian Bannister and Gil Meche:

"We made it pretty clear we're committed to those guys together. That's not to say that, from time to time, people don't inquire in casual conversation, but it's just not something we're interested in doing unless, of course, it makes perfect sense and you have to do it."

When does Greinke pitch again? Can't wait to see it. Okay, "see" it.

As for Bannister -- his ERA may be higher than last year, but tell me you don't enjoy stuff like this. Is it moral to take Bannister away from Joe Posnanski and the rest of us?

"I thought we accomplished a lot in our discussions and possibly laid the groundwork for further opportunities to improve our team."

I believe it.

Overall though: not as much happening this go-around as last year.

Bad, bad journalism

That's all I can about this ESPN Deportes report that claims Jose Guillen wants out of KC. A quick glance at the story should immediately raise all sorts of red flags.

The relationship between the "anonymous source" and Guillen was not specified. If you're going to use one source in a story, you should at least 1) verify the information, or 2) tell us why your one source is in the know. Even in journalism -- a fact we forget more and more with every CNN or Fox News or ESPN Deportes abortion -- there is a such thing called prudence and you are in fact allowed to practice it.
"Living hell in Kansas City" did not come from Guillen but that anonymous source who has unspecified insight into Guillen's mind.
"He would do anything he can in economic terms to ease his way out of Kansas City" is flatly rejected by Guillen, who apparently replied to the KC Star, "This is completely catching me by surprise."

Did you catch that? Replied to the Kansas City Star. And more denials. Let's pull down the veil, shall we?

Neither Jose Guillen nor Trey Hillman were contacted for the story.

Why ESPN.com's editors ran with this is utterly baffling. Let me repeat: neither Jose Guillen nor Trey Hillman, the principle subjects of the story and two guys who are -- how shall we say -- ubiquitous in the clubhouse... neither of them were contacted by Rojas for comment.

We have a phrase in the profession for when something like this happens: You've gotta be f***ing kidding me.

Actually, correct that: the worst part is folks in the blogosphere linked to this excrement and ran with it, ultimately accomplishing what the anonymous source hoped to get: a controversy. Bravo, Enrique Rojas and your anonymous source. After my anger passes, I will realize you have joined the likes of Tom Miller in saddening me just a little more in regards to our profession.

Buck O'Neil

No, the medieval theologians control the court.
The only question you ever hear is about
the little dance floor on the head of a pin
where halos are meant to converge and drift invisibly.

It is designed to make us think in millions,
billions, to make us run out of numbers and collapse
into infinity, but perhaps the answer is simply one:
one female angel dancing alone in her stocking feet,
a small jazz combo working in the background.

--Billy Collins, "Questions About Angels"

Among the things I remember from Joe Posnanski's memorable book is how Buck reacted after learning the Hall of Fame had spurned him (four members of the 12-member panel, anyway, which had been formed, in part, to get Buck O'Neil in the Hall of Fame). Something about love. While the rest of America fumed, Buck said he saw this as a blessing in disguise because he wouldn't have known how deeply and widely he was loved if not for the rejection.

That's not quite true -- he was loved by everyone who met him, and surely he must've known. But that was Buck for you, trying to cheer up the rest of us because the world just seemed a better place with more happy faces.

Anyway, the Hall of Fame finally decided to rectify a wrong -- however late and however big that wrong -- by creating the Buck O'Neil lifetime achievement award. Sam Mellinger of the Star has a heartfelt post about it here.

As for me, I never met Buck, but with stories like these (lakewoodroyal, below, posted on Mellinger's site), it feels like I know the man, to the extent that it's possible to know someone without actually having met him. I don't want to overstate things -- there's no need, really, when people the world over have said in plain terms how extraordinary Buck was -- but it seems to me that he valued, above all, doing the small, simple things that add up, accumulating in minds and deeper places, so that when time does come to take inventory of one's life, all those pebbles of good collected over the years form a mountain running alongside that majestic staircase folks mention sometimes, propping up the newly departed and holding his foot as he takes that step across the great divide, leaving the colors of his deeds to split into a million, billion brilliant pieces that then wash over us in all their grace. That's how I imagine it, anyway.

Thanks for conjuring up a good memory, Sam. I'll never forget the day Buck gave my brother and me an impromptu personal tour of the museum on a slow day and he just happened to be there. My brother STILL talks about that day nearly every time we bring up baseball and KC. We showed up shortly after lunch in the middle of the week, only a few people there and just as we were getting started reading through a few of the signs after entering the museum, Buck shimmied up behind my brother and started narrating each sign with a story. When we went there, we thought we'd spend a couple of hours and then head out. 4 and a 1/2 hours later we were walking out stunned at what had just happened and STILL laughing. He didn't think anything of it. Never once wanted to ditch us to see others. He even had people coming up to shake hands and take pictures and would turn around and catch back up with us. My brother, who is a huge Cubs fan, got a kick out of all the stories of when Buck managed in Chicago. I think we could have stayed there all night just listening to the stories. I think what I miss the most was that every time you heard his stories being retold by him, they were never quite the same as the first and always better than the previous time you heard them. I'm looking forward to getting out to the HoF again and seeing that statue.

I would smile too if my team were losing 19-4

Well, if TPJ took the mound, anyway. Solid commentary by the booth guys, too. [HT: Royally Speaking]

Seriously, batting .154, can we please convert him, permanently? I hear John Bale's on the DL.

At the All-Star break

Sometimes, there's not much else you can say except "I wish I'd been there." Check out ESPN's highlights of the Home Run Derby, in which Josh Hamilton hit 28 home runs in the first round, 20 more than the next guy.

Setting aside for the moment the thrill of the spectacle -- 13 consecutive home runs, then eight consecutive, causing the throng at Yankee Stadium to shout out his name -- Hamilton may be a guy genuinely worth rooting for. It's all been said before, I know, to the point of becoming cliche, but let me relay this little anecdote:

In St. Louis, I was standing in rightfield when a fan yelled, "My name is Josh Hamilton, and I'm a drug addict!" I turned around and looked at him with my palms raised to the sky. "Tell me something I don't know, dude," I said. The whole section started laughing and cheering, and the heckler turned to them and said, "Did you hear that? He's my new favorite player." They cheered me from that point on.

How many players would do something like that?

As for the Royals, they keep chugging along: a good spell here, a bad spell there, resulting in a fourth place standing in the Central. I miss the rhythms of baseball, how we can track the days by it, how insanely thrilling and aberrational it seems when there's true movement in the standings, like some seismic geographic change which hitherto had run parallel with our timeline is now creeping towards a bisection. Three teams separate the Royals from the top, but that doesn't mean we can't keep looking up.

We'll leave off with the video of David DeJesus's recent walk-off home run -- because it's just that awesome -- and the celebration afterwards. Ask yourself: why is his belt unbuckled when he comes out of the mob?

At least nothing like this happened.

A note for the Tampa Bay Rays

We're sorry we said, last year, you were just the salve needed for the weekend, and we're sorry we hated on Tropicana Field. (We're sorry for the picture as well.)

Now, will you please lose?

Thanks.

Mike Aviles needs your vote

Evan Longoria put up some good numbers last week, but he doesn't play for the Royals. Our new everyday shortstop/second baseman, on the other hand...

Gillette and MLB invite you to cast your vote for the June Rookie of the Month Award presented by Gillette.
By entering you will automatically be entered for a chance to win a trip to the 2008 World Series. Fill out the form below and cast your vote now!

A Royal won was selected AL Rookie of the Month three times last season, which is amazing considering the season's only six months long. Let's keep the tradition going.

Vote now!

And while we're at it, it's worth mentioning that Jose Guillen, he of the recently apologized, is "one of six nominees for the Major League Baseball Clutch Performer of the Month for June, presented by Pepsi." So again, that's Mike Aviles, June Rookie of the Month presented by Gillette, and Jose Guillen, June Clutch Performer of the Month presented by Pepsi. Don't say baseball doesn't know how to go for the extra buck.

POSTSCRIPT: Happy Fourth of July.

POSTSCRIPT 2: The future?

UPDATE: Apparently the Fourth of July is celebrated on July 4. My bad.

Wait, the what calmly retired who?

"Once they had the lead, of course, the Royals handed the axe to Joakim Soria, and the Mexicutioner calmly lopped off the the heads of All Who Oppose the Righteous World and All That's Good."

Actual sentence: "Once they had the lead, of course, the Royals handed the game to Joakim Soria, and the Mexicutioner calmly retired three straight hitters for his 22nd save in 23 opportunities."

--Bob Dutton, KC Star

"Senor Smoke" isn't sticking. Is "Mexicutioner" new, or did I miss something?

Sort of like how "biweekly" has two meanings, the term Mexicutioner, it might interest you to know, also has dual -- and opposite -- definitions. From Urban Dictionary:

1. One who is Mexican, and executes.

2. A person, who willingly, destroys Mexicans at will.

Also, there's the photo to the right, which was the first result that popped up from a Flickr search for "Mexicutioner." I love the Internet.

And comeback wins -- down 5-1, then 5-3 in the top of the 9th, on an 0-2 count.... I love those, too.

Fallbeil!

Winning ways continue

Just realized the KC Star's Jeffrey Flanagan has a blog, and that recently he had the occasion to ask, "Dayton Moore a blogger?"

"Are you kidding?" Moore said, laughing. "You ever see me try to type? It'd take an hour to type one sentence."

Well, that settles that.

Speaking of Moore, though, Sam Mellinger of the better-established Ball Star blog analyzes our heroic GM's transactions. Part 1 here. And as long as we're talking transactions on this, the day the Royals go for win No. 11 out of 12, Rangers Fan had this to say about GMDM's recent acquisition of former Rangers pitcher Robinson Tejeda:

I'm a big fan of that pickup for you guys. I have strong opinions on Tejeda.

We can only guess those strong opinions involve peanut butter and hating Jarrod Saltalamacchia.

Finally, shout it loud: NL is no match for Royals.

We knew this was coming

A winning stretch!

It's been so noteworthy that Yahoo Sports put the Royals on its main-page sidebar, calling them the "surging" Royals. Eight wins in nine games, 10-3 versus the NL, that'll get you a little bit of attention.

But just a question for Brian Bannister, who hasn't lost since May 22 -- what's up with this quote?

?I like walks about as much as I like high gas prices.?

Gas prices should be raised, and the sooner the better. In a nonrenewable-energy dependent society, the more incentives to guzzle less, the better. If you think America's gas prices are "bad," try taking a spin around Europe. Or, for that matter, China, which just decided to raise its gas prices to discourage driving/polluting. And if you need more reasons for raising the gas price, read this Freakonomics blog entry.

So in conclusion: Royals rule. Let's keep these good times rolling.

POSTSCRIPT: Cardinals suck.

Anyone like me ever get Milton Bradley and Jose Guillen confused sometimes?

Big Donkeys beat me to this, but since I'm not getting any actual baseball games, these are the only sort of stories that pique my interest (other than Eric Hosmer and using Tomko/Yabuta instead of Ramirez/Soria )... via ESPN:

Bradley never reached [Ryan] Lefebvre, although he was within about 20 feet of him in the TV booth before being led back down to the clubhouse.
"There was no incident," Daniels said.
Upon returning to the clubhouse, Bradley screamed at teammates and broke down in tears.
"I'm tired of people bringing me down," Bradley said. "It wears on you. I love you guys, all you guys. I'm strong, but I'm not that strong. All I want to do is play baseball and make a better life for my kid than I had."

What a weird incident. Can you imagine if you were the radio announcers in that small booth listening to the footsteps (and curses) of an angry, angry man bounding up the stairs? I'm not sure what Lefebvre said, but give him credit: he didn't back off.

"We weren't tearing up Milton Bradley. I told [Washington and Daniels] this wasn't a Milton Bradley rip session, but just based on the pictures we've seen in this series of him walking to the dugout all the way to right field, dropping his bat, making gestures to the fans in right field and above the dugout and taunting them. He's the only person in baseball I know that does that type of stuff."

Some say the White Sox and Mariners reacted well to their manager's respective blow-ups. Maybe the Royals can use this somehow? Is that too much to ask from a radio announcer?

POSTSCRIPT: In my desperate attempt to get Rangers Fan to guest post, I got him to say this: "We care now! We're decent. How about how your bullpen CHOKED. That's the storyline I take from that game." You know which game.

Guess who's a Royals fan?

American Idol winner David Cook, that's who.

From an interview posted on ESPN The Magazine's website:

You bartended in Oklahoma, were born in Texas, raised in Missouri and now you're in L.A. Who do you cheer for?
I spent a majority of my life in Kansas City, so I am a Chiefs and Royals guy. I used to work for the Royals for like five years in the suites department and in the stadium club restaurant. The Royals allowed me to make some money, which was nice. With the Chiefs, you can't live in Kansas City and not like the Chiefs. To go catch a game at Arrowhead is a pretty great experience. I haven't had the chance to go to games anywhere else, but, from what I'm told, I don't really need to.
You haven't been to a game anywhere but K.C.?
Well, I've been to a couple games out here in L.A. with the Dodgers. And actually, I think the Royals just traded Angel Berroa to the Dodgers.
Think it's a good trade?
You know it depends. At the end of the day I certainly enjoyed Berroa when he played for the Royals. He won the Rookie of the Year award in '04 or '03 [Ed.'s Note: He was ROY in 2003, beating out the likes of Hideki Matsui and Mark Teixeira.] I thought he was a great contributor to the Royals while he was there.
What's the craziest thing that ever happened at Royal's stadium when you were there?
Besides them having a winning record that one season? The craziest thing for me was getting to throw the first pitch. I was joking around all day saying, "I'm gonna shake 'em up and throw a curve ball." Then I get in the dugout and a couple of the players are like, "Aw man, you got to short-hop him." Brett Tomko was the guy who was catching. We're getting ready to go out on to the field and Tomko tells me, "Hey, just so you know, there was a celebrity that came through and he threw out the first pitch and he short-hopped it and they booed him off the field." And so then I started freaking out, I don't want to get booed of the field! So I just threw a four-seam fastball and barely made it there. I almost threw it in the dirt and then Brett Tomko comes up to me and goes, "Great slider." It wasn't a slider, but I didn't have the heart to tell him.

Knowing Berroa got traded... the winning season crack... Brett Tomko story... this guy's legit!

Watching the Royals from Beijing

Kro's Nest is one of the few decent pizza places in Beijing, nestled next to an Outback Steakhouse next to the Beijing Workers' Stadium.

It was there that I caught two Mike Aviles doubles and watched Kyle Davies and the Royals beat the Yankees 2-1.

No matter how far you get from home, it's nice to carry a part of home with you. Even on tape delay.

Going with the change-up

I'd say I'm caught up now on the react stories and blog postings following Wednesday night's debacle, not to mention the news that Tony Pena Jr.'s staying in the lineup while Billy Butler is not, Leo Nunez going to the DL and a giant asteroid heat-locked on Kansas City. This was a bit masochistic of me, but my eyes have passed over all the measured responses and the sad responses and Poz, Deadspin and Rany responses and the angry responses and incredulous responses and everything in between. And Rob Neyer. And all I'm left with is an urge to say...

Let's take a break from it all, shall we? Can we interest you in a little humor to enter the weekend?

From The Onion:

BRISTOL, CT?Gary Belsky, editor-in-chief of ESPN The Magazine, expressed satisfaction and delight with the mockup of his publication's latest issue Wednesday, flipping gleefully through the pages and staring in mesmerized awe at the multitude of "pretty, pretty pictures." "Oooooooooooooohhhhhh," said Belsky, sensuously running his fingers along a two-page-spread photograph of Royals outfielders Joey Gathright and David DeJesus leaping for a fly ball. "Soooo shiiiiiiny." Belsky went on to say that the magazine cover was "so glossy smooth," that the letters were very, very big and in all different pretty-pretty colors, and that there should be more ads.

Is there any doubt who catches it, Gathright or DeJesus?

POSTSCRIPT: Recommended read (and check out the cover if you can): Tom Verducci on the season so far.

Oh dear...

?Too many babies here,? Guillen stormed while seated in front of his locker and spicing his language with obscenity. ?They don?t know how to play the game and win the game right, the way it?s supposed to be played. And that?s the problem here. Now I know why this organization?s been losing for a while. Now I know.?

That's Jose Guillen, of course. And now we know a little bit more about you, Mr. G.

We'll open this up for discussion/ranting.

Getting no-hit...

I didn't see the game -- I haven't watched any baseball in nearly four weeks, and I'm less literate because of it -- but pitching a no-hitter is no small feat, almost as big an accomplishment as surviving cancer. Almost. And if you've followed this blog at all, you know my predilection for no-hitters and near-no-hitters (to say nothing of near-perfect games), so... congratulations, Jon Lester, you've given Boston the catharsis it needs to return at last to a friendly, healthier way of living. Seriously, folks, all that cussin' ain't good for ya. Also, Jon, you've joined Nolan Ryan as the only pitchers to no-hit this proud Royals franchise, and that has to be sort of awesome for you. Just don't steal any laptops.

This blog must trudge on, even in my absence. Expect guest posts from here on till September.
Trust me, my ghost writers will all be better than Coach K's replacement that one year -- 1994, was it? (see, I leave this blog for two weeks and I get too lazy to throw a few words into Google) -- whatever his name is.

I can't believe I just referenced Duke.

One more thing: the Royals would dominate the National League, especially with Joakim Soria's extended contract. Two games to .500! Come on!

POSTSCRIPT: One of the reasons I'm not blogging about the Royals from out here is because China is 13 hours ahead of Central Time, and I would hate to provide spoilers since I get the games half a day before you all...

A couple more thoughts, then I resume my leave

It just occurred to me that I was about five days late on this Bissinger-Leitch thing, and that everyone else who needs to has already commented and moved on. Sorry. News travels slow to the other part of the world. (I say that knowing full well that I'm contradicting my earlier depiction of the Internet as this wondrous thing that can instantaneously transmit all the world's knowledge to your fingertips...)

Anyway, it's also occurred to me that I may have seemed a little spiteful in my previous post, which is weird because I'm not usually a very spiteful person. Well, it only seems right that I rectify this situation, and I'll do it with the easy button...

Somehow, Joe Posnanski has again managed to be the sane voice of reason, and -- in that way of his -- the authority on this matter.

There were two lengthy excerpts I wanted to use as examples of what I mean, but I fear reproducing both would violate some sort of blogger intellectual-rights code (yes, even bloggers have ethics). So I flipped a coin and this is what came up:

What is a blog anyway? The question itself is ridiculous ? it?s like asking, ?What?s an article?? or ?What?s a book? or ?What?s a song?? It?s a vehicle, that?s all, a way to communicate, a way to spread ideas, a way to entertain, a way to gripe, a way to spew hate, a way to make fascinating points. Some are short. Some are long. Some are curiously long. Some are profane, some are fascinating, some are stupid, some are irresponsible, some are genius, some are not read by anybody except immediate family members.

Remember Buzz?s W.C. Heinz reference? Buzz was saying that Heinz had a whole lot more to say (and could say it a lot better) than, I guess, most people who comment on blogs. Sure. That?s probably true. Heinz was a brilliant writer. Wonderful. Thoughtful. Funny. Tough. I couldn?t be a bigger fan. His piece on Bummy Davis is one of the all-time greats. He wrote a lot of great pieces.

But guess what: If Heinz was young today, if he was 25 years old in 2008, or 30 years old, you know what he would be doing? Yeah. He would be WRITING A FREAKING BLOG. Of course he would. If you love to write, if you want to be heard, if you feel like you have something to say, this is what you do. Your print outlets are shrinking and shrinking and shrinking. You know, Heinz wrote his famous, ?In The Morning They Shot Spies? piece for True Magazine. Same thing for that great Bummy Davis piece I just mentioned. He wrote sports columns for ?The Sun.? He wrote for Madison and Argosy and LIfe and so on.

You know what these magazines and newspapers have in common? Yeah. They?re gone. There aren?t many magazines and newspapers left. It?s corny, sure, but I feel honored and thankful every day to work for The Kansas City Star, not only a paper that is still in business, but more a paper that still cares a whole lot about being good. There?s a hard reality here, and it will only get harder over the next few years. Newspapers are shrinking. Magazines are shrinking. Opportunities in the mainstream are shrinking. Shrinkage is the word.

But the Internet is wide open. If Heinz was young, he would be writing words on the Internet just like everyone else, and he would probably have his own blog, and it would be wonderful, and cranky old people would be screaming about Heinz in pajamas.

Here's the full entry.

I'd also like to refer you to the Posnanski post titled "Costas on Blogs," specifically the comment that reads,

fd // May 2, 2008 at 10:25 am

Will you get an eyejob like he did when you reach his age?

Heh.

Is it a sign of the times that amid a brilliant anecdote about hope, disappointment, failure and redemption, I choose to share that?

The comment really has to be read in context to be appreciated. Well done, fd.

Leave it to Buzz Fucking Bissinger to pull me back

Well, you knew I couldn't stay away forever. Just three thoughts though, one of them a little extended:

1. Brandon Webb is 7-0? Arizona still hasn't hit double digits in the loss column yet?

2. My thanks to Ray of Royals on Radio Etc. for taking the time to interview me and sending a few hits my way, even though I haven't updated this blog in more than a week (but for good reason, I promise).

3. Which blogger raped Buzz Bissinger?

If you haven't seen it yet, this will be of no interest to you whatsoever. In fact, you may just want to stop reading now, because what follows might offend you, and this blog never intends to offend. Also, it's not baseball-related, and I do apologize for that.

Otherwise, proceed.

First, let me disclose that I've met Will Leitch, and I think he's a stand-up guy. Judging by the video and how he took Bissinger's full-frontal assault, you can guess -- and you would be right -- that Leitch has a bit more class than the Pulitzer winner. His writing may jab a few people the wrong way sometimes, but let me ask: would you rather your jackass be a voice on paper (or the Internet, as it were) or a guy in the flesh?

Second, I read Deadspin and like it, sometimes a lot. But I've never commented and, frankly, don't feel any need to. It can get a bit too self-affirming, not to mention shallow and inane.

But let me get back to my original point: Is Buzz Bissinger really so dense as to not understand the "blog"? I mean, is he really?

And is Bob Costas really so sanctimonious that he'd group Deadspin's commentators in with Deadspin's editor, then ask the editor to justify the actions of everyone else? As if by quoting the most vulgar of Deadspin's million comments -- out of context, mind you -- he were somehow asking the tough questions and probing the "serious" issues?

Do these guys really -- I mean really... like, needing us 20-somethings to hold their hands and explain with a lollipop in our back pockets -- the concept of the blogosphere? Are they really so out of touch as to be unable to even say blogosphere without the italics, as if this was some mystical place inhabited by three-nippled martians?

You know, most of the time, bloggers like me don't mind people like Costas. He does good work. I think Rick Reilly does fine work too. Even the worst baseball beat writer has something to contribute. But when people like Costas and Bissinger take their high-minded, imperious, tyrannical stance that they're better than you, that their opinions count for more, that your college education means less than their college education... well, that angers me. Sort of a lot.

Costas put Leitch into a few corners on his show, and, hey, it's his show, he can do whatever he wants. But a real journalist would have pointed the audience's attention to this, written by Mr. Leitch himself about two months ago, addressed to Costas:

Hey, Bob: Those people, the ones you're calling "get-a-life losers?" THESE ARE YOUR VIEWERS. They are not this special mutant brand of human who has simply bubbled up from the nether since the Internet came around. They're people who, for years, have had no choice but to be talked to by you, with no voice of their own to respond. For years, you've had a free ride; you've had your platforms, and you've been able to spout invective about whatever tickled your fancy. This is your right; you've certainly earned it.

But ? with all due respect, sir, from a fellow Cardinals fan and a longtime admirer ? why are you the only one who gets to talk? Are you seriously claiming that the people who watch your shows, the people who invest their time and money into this the sports enterprise that has allowed you to thrive, the people who pay your salary ... are you really claiming that they're "get-a-life losers?" These are the people who have been watching you all along. It's one thing to want to elevate the nature of sports discourse; heck, we kind of want to do that too. (Kind of.) It's another thing to portray this divide as one between "People Who Are QUALIFIED To Talk About Sports" and "Internet Get-A-Life Losers." It's that kind of attitude that shows blatant contempt for your viewers ? your customers, man! ? and makes the outlet that is the Web that much more important.

Costas sees bloggers as a threat not just because they express opinions he doesn't agree with or use humor he doesn't find funny, and his disdain for them isn't based solely on the fact that some bloggers are truly awful (it embarrasses me to have to type this because it would seem obvious, but... yes, I admit, the Internet isn't all good). No, I think it comes down to this: Costas knows, deep down, some bloggers are better than he is, and smarter, and more educated, and maybe can even speak truer than he on subjects like steroids (ask Bob the chemist from Michigan) or euthanasia (ask John the lifelong horse trainer). And he sees his future threatened, his voice minimized. And -- this is in his defense now -- who in his shoes wouldn't try to do all he can to keep the little guy down?

Again, most of the time I have no problem with Costas. I like him, even. Seriously, there's no one else I'd rather have anchoring Olympics coverage for NBC. I suppose I'm just disappointed he doesn't know better.

Bissinger, on the other hand...

I really don't know where to start. Maybe by defending Deadspin's commentators, the scourge of the Earth, as Buzz would have you believe.

A lot can go unsaid in one-liners, the sort Deadspin readers use and Buzz seems to despise. You've heard the phrase a picture's worth a thousand words? A joke is as well. For instance, when one says about Bissinger, "I noticed a surprising lack of onions on his belt," he's not merely calling Bissinger old (because old people should have onions on their belts, thus the "surprising lack of"), and believe it or not, he's also not just making a reference to a Simpson's episode; he's suggesting there's something inherently off-putting -- trite, perhaps -- about a middle-aged man going apeshit on a "whippersnapper"; that there's something about that not worth commenting on, so he'll instead make that Simpson's reference, try to get a couple people to laugh. The implication is that this is a better use of time, not doing what I'm doing now: explaining why Bissinger's an idiot, akin to explaining a joke, which no one likes to do.

Also, this might be hard for someone as humorless as Bissinger to comprehend, but it is possible, when two parties share the same point of view, for one party to say something completely opposite of what he means, and for the other party to recognize this dissonance between saying and meaning and to find amusement in that dissonance, and to express that amusement with a sound one might recognize as "laughter." I think there's a word to describe this sort of highly evolved, purely human form of communication. Um. What is that term? What is it, what is it...

There's value in communicating by humor: it's entertaining. It's interesting. And it can be good.

On that note -- has anyone actually read Buzz Bissinger? I respect the guy's work ethic, but his writing simply isn't very good. I wrote a report on Friday Night Lights in a college journalism class -- leave it to the journalism department of all departments in higher learning to make you write a book report, which we've done since, what, 4th grade? -- and I believe I described Bissinger's prose as a cross between staid and purple. This is the style he's spent 40 years trying to craft, and if you spend 40 years on anything you're bound to make it passable, but still... that's a terrible combination. It's like a high school writer wannabe who tries a bit too hard and ends up with one too many adjunctives, or a poet-manque who hasn't figured out the difference between "O" and "Oh." And what Bissinger says about his kid growing up not reading books... maybe he should, you know, do some parenting.

Okay, this rant's gone on too long. I'll end on this: as a public service -- really, for Bissinger, because apparently he's not aware of any -- let me go into my RSS and pluck a very, very small sample of great blogs:

I don't know how to emphasize that this is just a tiny sampling of outstanding writing (and reporting) you can find on the Internet. There are so many great blogs by people you haven't heard of -- me neither -- that I couldn't possibly link to any one of them without feeling the need -- obligation, even -- to link to five more.

I try to look at these sites as often as I can, but obviously the day has its limits, so I only get to look at a fraction of them on any particular day or even week. But that gets to the heart of my point: The Internet has made it so that if we choose, we can never be uninformed. Imagine that. Our generation will have grown up in an age when we can all be as smart as we want -- as smart as the time we're willing to put in to exercise our brain. If you think about it, that's amazing. And here we have people like Bissinger representing some nebulous "old guard" telling us that we're doing a disservice to our children by giving them a multitude of options. His is a very small, very narrow mind, and when it at last exits stage right, we'll not be one shilling poorer for it.

And if we extrapolate a little further: when Bissinger's kind -- you know, the narrow-minded, like our President, who just had to settle his father's grudge with Saddam, or our Secretary of Defense, who's more interested in peddling blame than figuring out what's going on under his nose, or parts of our electorate, who can't see past Obama's association with Jeremiah Wright -- finally takes their hands off this world we share, we're going to set things right. I'm not sure how, but doesn't it excite you that we're gonna get our chance to try?

POSTSCRIPT: Sam Mellinger of The Star gives a more leveled point of view on this topic.

On hiatus for a while

Losing streak? What losing streak? It's far in the rear-view mirror as the Royals look to sweep... such is baseball, the violent lurches and sways capable of turning on themselves overnight.

On that note... I'm jumping ship, temporarily. Not for any good reason, really, but it's just that I've been a little out of the way these last few days, geographically speaking, and I'll be remaining out of the way for the next five months. I initially thought I could continue blogging about the Royals from out here, but I've come to realize it's just not going to happen. The hours I normally devote to this blog are gone, and with so many good Royals blogs out there -- all of them, I believe, listed on the blogroll to the right (do let me know if I'm missing any) -- my little voice just wouldn't be much good, like shouting at a runaway train.

Anyway, there's no good way to sign off, but I do want to say thanks to anyone and everyone who's dropped by this little corner and especially to anyone who's taken the time to leave a comment -- they all pass through my inbox, and I'm always happy to see it.

This isn't goodbye, of course. I'll continue reading the RSS, following the Royals, baseball, etc., and I'll be back in time for the stretch run and to cheer the Royals in the postseason. Yes, I said it. And I won't actually be going away, cybernetically (?) speaking -- I've started a new project, a link to which you'll find in my profile. It's not at all like this one and I don't expect to draw the same viewers, but give it a look if you're interested.

Anything else, feel free to email. Let me know if something incredible happens, or if Reed Johnson almost breaks his neck diving for a ball in left-center again. Stay classy, Kansas City.