Chronicling our lives, the things that make it fun, and crap like that. (Sports, Humor, Pop Culture, Society, Stupidity, and More!)
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I am totally becoming a Scientologist
If you ever wanted to know about Scientology, Tom Cruise is here to help. And there's nothing crazy about it. Nothing at all. Ignore the fact that Cruise comes off as a complete lunatic. And be sure to watch this soon because the Scientologists have been having it taken down all over the Net today.
This hurts him more than it hurts me
Watch as this high school basketball player throws down a dunk, gets undercut, then lands on his dome. Hilarity ensues.
First up, we have Chargers defensive lineman Igor Olshansky, who said this about the Patriots: "Seriously, I mean, they're more worried than we are, I promise you. Believe me. They know what's up."
By they know what's up, does he mean the chances of them giving the Chargers the asswhooping they so deserve because of Phil Rivers' douchiness?
PROGRAM NOTE: LIVE-BLOG OF THE MAYWEATHER-HATTON FIGHT TONIGHT!
In case you have not heard, "The future of fight sport journalism(TM)," The Prophet, will be Live-Blogging the battle of the undefeateds, Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Ricky "The Hitman" Hatton, right here tonight around 9pm EST. So spend your $50 on booze and pizza instead of sending it to your cable/satellite provider and enjoy the fight with us tonight!
Hey folks, I am going to have to take a little hiatus as my duties over at EpicCarnival.com are just eating up too much of my time to bring you the quality crap that you are used to seeing here. Please continue to visit Epic Carnival as I will be keeping up my usual quota of the stupid and the sexy over there for the time being.
And as my way of saying thanks for visiting lo these many times, here's how people on the Internet fool people much dumber than you and me into thinking they have just seen Scarlett Johansson naked. Enjoy the magic of Photoshop.
Coker, Bolden suspended (AP) Tennessee tailback LaMarcus Coker and defensive tackle Demonte Bolden will miss the game against Louisiana-Lafayette on Saturday because of a violation of team rules.
Kitna regrets costume scrutiny (AP) Jon Kitna and his wife dressed up as a naked man and a fast-food drive-through attendant at a teammate's Halloween party, depicting an embarrassing moment for one of the team's assistant coaches.
Since we're on the subject of the Red Sox, we ran across this beautifully crafted retrospective of the Red Sox of 2007 and found it very interesting. It really is amazing that such an underdog team went on to become the World Series champions.
Jonathan Papelbon Visited Dave
Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon was on Letterman last night and was actually pretty dang entertaining. The Riverdance "I'm Shipping Up to Boston" by the Dropkick Murphys musical intro was a nice touch.
The Real Reason Beckham Signed With The Galaxy
We all know that David Beckham didn't come to America just to play soccer. He came to give his wife's career a boost (so far not so good on that front), to dabble in some fashion projects, and to make a movie? Yep, make a movie. Beckham is set to make a flick with none other than that legendary film producer, Snoop Dogg.
The pair - who have been firm friends for years and have frequently partied in Los Angeles since David moved there this summer - are hoping to finance their own big screen project.
Snoop said, "David and I go back years. No one would have thought me and my boy David would have anything in common because we come from such separate worlds.
"But he has the dollars at his disposal and we're talking about putting our money together to do a movie. It's incredibly exciting."
Snoop and Becks do have a lot in common. They both have more money than God, and ... uh ... like chicks with fake boobs?
The 36-year-old rapper also revealed they are considering launching a fashion line together...
See, Galaxy fans! This is all working out just fine ... for Beckham.
As you may recall, Dr. Jerry Buss, owner of the Lakers was busted for driving under the influence in the off-season. Not to mention, busted with a young hottie in the car ... yowza. The NBA didn't think this was such a great thing so they suspended him. How you suspend and owner is a concept I don't quite understand, but that's what they did.
Lakers owner Jerry Buss has been suspended for two games and fined $25,000 by NBA commissioner David Stern in conjunction with Buss' conviction on a misdemeanor drunk driving charge.
Buss was not at Staples Center when the Lakers opened their season with a 95-93 loss to the Houston Rockets on Tuesday. He will finish the suspension by missing Los Angeles' game in Phoenix on Friday night.
So he can't attend the game? That's the punishment? Oh, man. I bet he NEVER drinks and drives again because of that! Watching it on TV while your GM and coach run the team must have been brutal.
In one of the more clever local NBA-related ads I have seen, Eddie Jordan does a spot for a car dealer. And his use of the t-shirt gun is inspiring. (Video courtesy Pop Jocks)
The Constant Variety Of Sports: 60% Drug-Tested
Report: Teams get notice before drug testing of players (ESPN) Baseball teams regularly receive up to nearly two days' notice before drug testing of players. Officials of home teams are notified in advance to leave stadium and parking passes for the testers.
Cameron suspended after drug test (AP) Mike Cameron, the Padres' Gold Glove center fielder, was suspended for the first 25 games of next season on Wednesday after testing positive a second time for a banned stimulant.
Hawaii reserve RB kicked off team (AP) Hawaii reserve running back Mario Cox has been dismissed from the team. Coach June Jones would not say why the 5-foot-11, 250-pound sophomore was kicked off the team.
Marketer files lawsuit against Bush (AP) A sports marketer has filed a lawsuit against former Southern California running back Reggie Bush and his parents that seeks to recoup nearly $300,000 in cash and gifts they allegedly accepted from him during Bush's sophomore and junior seasons.
Soccer Analysis And Commentary Is Best With Bikini-Clad Women
No idea what's going on here and it doesn't really matter. Maybe they are telling us Happy Halloween! The bikini girls doing jumping jacks is the best part I think. (Video courtesy The Offside)
Penn State Fans Are Very Friendly
Who says you can't wear your Ohio State gear to a Penn State game? Oh yeah, these people ... who throw beer and other random objects at passersby in Ohio State gear. (Video courtesy Big Ten Tailgate)
UPDATE: Spokeswoman Annemarie Mountz says Penn State is "saddened" over the video and says it's not what the university is all about. University police are investigating. (AP)
Lighten up, Annemarie.
Bill Belichick Also Apparently Coaches High School Football In Kansas
If you think playing against the Patriots is bad, try taking your high school football team to Smith Center, Kansas sometime.
Smith Center scored 72 points in the first quarter of a high school football game Tuesday night on the way to an 86-0 win over Plainville.
Smith Center forced six turnovers in the first quarter as it racked up what is believed to be a record for points in a quarter by a high school team, the paper reported. The previous record was 66 by Prescott, Ariz., in 1925.
It was nice of them to call off the dogs after scoring just 72 in the first quarter. But really what were they supposed to do? Start kneeling down in the first quarter? Put the cheerleaders in on offense? By the way, you just know these boys are gettin' laid.
By the way, they have outscored their opponents 640-0 this season. I think it's time for them to play the Patriots.
Two lovely ladies dressed up as Tom Brady (it's Halloween after all!) will now show you how to get a tight end through exercise. Simple concept, executed to perfection. (Video courtesy The FanHouse)
Kids Football Coaches Have Great Perspective
Yet another pee-wee football coach is in trouble. This time for allegedly attacking one of his players. Did we mention the player is 12-years old?
?I was in pain and I was shocked,? 12-year-old Ryan Mullarney said.
This, after his assistant football coach allegedly attacked him after a play.
Cudahy Middle School?s Assistant Football Coach Michael Crawley is suspended after allegedly attacking Mullarney.
Did we mention the kid weighs 85 pounds?
Authorities say Crawley was upset when his own son got injured during a scrimmage. He then allegedly attacked Mullarney, body slamming him to the turf.
?The sixth grade coach came at me, swearing, and he picked me up by my facemask, spun me in the air and slammed me on the ground,? Ryan Mullarney said.
Yeah, that's normal.
Once again, I call for unusual and extremely cruel punishment for people like this. Any suggestions?
At least until the game was played, that is. Check out the coolest intro of opening night in the NBA. (Video courtesy FanIQ Sports Blog)
Jimmy The Bad Fantasy Football Comeback Guy
Someone kindly sent me this video and since I have no free time today, this is what you're gonna get. We all know a guy who no matter what you say about his fantasy football team, always has a comeback, and it's usually bad. Well, this is that guy.
Hopefully I will be back in the swing tomorrow. Toodles.
My apologies.
